A great deal of research has examined how we regulate our own emotions and behaviors in order to feel better and accomplish our goals. But we often don't regulate on our own: other people in our lives can and often do try to help us change the way that we're feeling. My research has examined how we regulate with explicit help from others in several different ways. I have examined how a prominent emotion regulation strategy (i.e. cognitive reappraisal) differs when we try to regulate ourselves versus when others help us with it. We found that people are more effective at regulating with help from friends than they are at regulating alone using the same emotion regulation strategy. We have also examined how holding hands with a loved one shapes our emotional experiences, and found that while touch increases comfort, it does not reduce emotional pain in the same way that it reduces physical pain. In ongoing work, we are examining how people respond to different types of verbal feedback from others about their emotional experiences, both in the lab and in everyday life using daily diary methods.

While other people often deliberately try to alter the way we feel or act, we also regulate our emotions and behaviors in response to implicit feedback from others. The way that others behave towards us can be a subtle yet powerful cue that shapes the way that we see ourselves and our actions, and this understanding of ourselves in relation to others can trigger us to self-regulate. I have discussed evidence from social, developmental, and clinical neuroscience to suggest a link between the extent to which we understand others' thoughts and feelings and the way that we process the pain of social rejection. This work collectively suggests that understanding and processing social rejection plays an important role in the way that we subsequently modify our behavior to avoid future rejection. I have also explored the functional ways in which feeling and expressing anger shape behavior at individual, dyadic, and societal levels, and presented research suggesting that over-regulating anger can come at steep costs for mental health, relationships, and social progress.